


So have I

by mishap_of_minds



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 09:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5411429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mishap_of_minds/pseuds/mishap_of_minds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>- Captain America Civil War Countdown<br/>Week 10<br/>I've been checking you out</p>
            </blockquote>





	So have I

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first official real (completed) fic. It's had a great response on Tumblr, but I apologise if you don't think it does the characters justice. Written for @shieldandgun on tumblr for the cacwcd.

“I’ve been checking you out.” That’s all that read on the incoming message from Steve. Even if she didn’t know it was from Steve, which she did, he always (without exception) signed his text messages with SR, just to make sure. She’s been trying to acclimatise Steve to the 21 st century for over four years now, and despite still initialling his texts, and other minor details, he was improving and she appreciated his willingness to try “modern wonders”, as he sometimes referred to them as.

Natasha knew all too well what he meant, although in the deadest, black of night, she often allowed herself to want it to mean something different. Something more. He was scouting her for a mission, of which they both knew who would be chosen: so by this point in their professional relationship, this formality didn’t need to be done.

 

* * *

 

It had become, somewhat of, an inside joke between the leaders of the Avengers. When Steve had first met Natasha and Clint, they appeared to always be “flirting” or together for the majority of the time he saw them. He had even wondered if they had been fondueing!

However, when Clint had revealed that he was married and that Natasha was almost a sibling, it changed Steve’s perception on the pair. He noticed that the way she whispered to him wasn’t seductively and that she wasn’t checking him out from afar, but merely making sure he was alive, and safe, and not in harm’s way (especially after the commotion with Loki); they joked in a way that only siblings could.

When Natasha has discovered that Clint had told Steve about his family, she immediately shifted the focus of her games to Steve, who being the Catholic he is and 1945 being the last thing he knew, had absolutely no idea that Natasha was in fact, actually trying to come on to him.

Eventually, Steve found out, in no small part to Tony, but had naturally thought it was a joke, another trick, a famous Black Widow mind game. This in turn had sparked the idea that she could tell the truth (for once) and he would be none the wiser, that whenever they needed each other for a mission, they simply sent the single phrase: “I’ve been checking you out.”

 

* * *

 

This time was different, though. Unlike his normal texting endeavours, he hadn’t signed off with his signature “SR” or “CA” when on duty. Maybe he was learning!

Feverously, they came in, one after the other, after another.

Steve: “I’ve been checking you out”

Steve: “Romanoff. I need you!”

Steve: “Command room now..!"

Steve: “Natasha; you have no idea. Hurry up”

Steve: “I need to talk to you”

Steve: “URGENT”

Okay, he never used caps. EVER. Steve disliked how they often made the situation seem way to life threatening (and in Steve’s book, if it actually wasn’t life threatening, then you didn’t use caps). But, if the man out of time was using caps, then this had to be serious. This couldn’t be nothing...

Just as she had begun her descent into the lower levels of the Avengers’ facility, another message chimed into her PDA, with a veritable chirp.

Steve: “Please...”

Steve: ...

Now, he was truly desperate. Steve hardly ever begged; if he was grovelling then he was in a bad way, he had to be, those were the only times he begged. Peggy had told her that years ago, when she still had her memories and Natasha had seen it in action only two years ago. During his recovery after his battle with the Winter Soldier, Steve had confronted Natasha, in the hospital, and begged (for the first time she’d seen, but certainly not the last) for her to end his life should worst come to worst.

Here they were again. Him begging and her being able to do nothing about it.

Steve: “Natalia Alianovna”

Trouble, now she was in deep, deep trouble. No one ever called her that; not anymore. That was her Russian name, her full name; the one associated with her dark past, one that who’s memories troubled her greatly and brought dread and shame to her reformed person,

Natasha still had three floors to go, and although she was flying, literally jumping over the obstacles in her path, down the stairs; despite being within touching distance, she couldn’t help but send Steve a message of her own:

Natasha: “On 7th. Be down soon. Hang tight ;)

As soon as this lit up Steve’s phone, he couldn’t resist letting out a breathy laugh. Natasha had a tendency to remind Steve about the one (and only!) time he had ever used had used an emoji. She couldn’t help herself sometimes, and sometime she over stepped the line.

He was unpredictably nervous today, he didn’t get nervous; he shouldn’t have been so nervous – neither should she. They were partners, colleagues, avengers, nothing more. Theirs was an elegant and uncomplicated relationship, nothing more was going to come of this. Or so they assumed.

Natasha’s attempt at calming the situation failed miserably, sending her into over drive (a state she rarely found herself in). No one used her Russian name anymore, no one since Alexai and Bucky, but even Buck had learnt to merely stick with “Natasha”. A lone tear broke free of her otherwise neutral exterior, which she made no attempt to hide. Instead, it gently caressed her cheek as it cascaded gracefully off her chiselled jaw.

Steve was quick with a response of his own. Almost too quick, especially for Natasha’s liking.

Steve: “Sorry. I’m sorry. That was too far.”

 _Damn right it was._ She thought, bitterly but it was too late to do anything more. Natasha had reached the door of the command room. She paused, uncertain of herself, why? Why was she so upset? And about what? Nothing so far would normally have affected her the way it did. _Get a grip, Romanoff._ She chastised herself for getting so emotional, over nothing. Steve hadn’t meant to dredge up her past, he never meant to upset anyone, least of all the world’s most deadly assassin.

Before her had chance to press send, on yet another message, Natasha burst abruptly through the solid, titanium door, into the complete attack proof, vibration absorbent command room; the nerve cell of the Avengers.

Steve, calm and collected as always, welcomed her warmly and began their meeting (if you still wanted to call it that!) with a phrase normally never spoken aloud. “I’ve been checking you out.” He deadpanned, completely serious.

What?! Now she had absolutely no idea what was happening. Did he mean to be that serious, or was he attempting to be sarcastic? Whichever it was, she, for one, didn’t know; and she suspected that he wasn’t entirely certain, himself.

An uncomfortable silence filled the void, until Steve forced himself to continue,

“From the day we met, on that helicarrier, over four years ago. There’s been something about you, that I’ve never fully understood.”

She’d heard this type of thing before: the gravitas, the vibrato of nerves or extreme emotion, the un-confidence yet assurance in his tone. This was Peggy – how she spoke – how she taught him to speak, to present himself. Her influence on him, may have just been the greatest thing to ever happen to America. However, Natasha still couldn’t decipher what on Earth her was jabbering on about.

He continued, allowing no time for her to intervene. He wanted to talk, so there was no chance in all of Heaven and Earth that he was going to stop, not until he finished. “You’ve always that this aura about you...I.” Steve tripped over his words but was quick to ignore it and continue his train of thought. “I know you don’t believe in that sort of thing. Please, hear me out though. You have always seemed to understand me, know my next move; how work together, it’s almost symbiotic.”

Natasha cut him off before he could continue, “Steve, I’m a spy...”

This time, it was Steve who interrupted, “it’s your job to know everything about everyone. I get it. I do. It just feels different and I don’t know what it is. You won’t understand, it’s just different and I can’t explain.”

“I do, Steve, I do, because it is different. With you it is and it always has been.” Again a lone tear broke from her calm demeanour. Again, she let it, until a steady waterfall of tears fell openly, the salty remnants leaving trails down her plump, reddening cheeks.

A sob catches in her throat and she is resorted to choking it out again. “It’s different, Steve, the reason it feels different is because it is.” She managed a sad smile, as all Steve could muster was a furrowed brow. A comfortable silence consumed the room until Natasha physically couldn’t bare it anymore.

She inched forward until their chests were barely a centimetre apart. His breath swept her head, causing a rush of emotions to fill her being. In a fiery rasp, Natasha managed to croak out that one six syllable phrase, that until now, had only one meaning to the pair in question:

“I’ve been checking you out. Steve?” Only now did both of them finally understand, what they had been trying, and failing, to comprehend for the past few years.

Without further questioning, they simultaneously pressed their lips together in a tender caress. Somehow already understanding how each other worked, giving themselves wholly to the moment and not thinking about the consequences.

It was only then that Peggy’s final wish was laid to rest, when they eventually had to come up for air, did Steve speak again. Breathless, greedily, hungry for more, he whispered in Natasha’s ear, “guess what? So have I!”

She let the words hand in the air, letting them sink in until she enclosed him in a tight hug. Unlike the embraces they often shared after a particularly long of dubious mission, this was compassionate and passionate and was filled with all the love they had neither given nor received in their lives. This set ablaze something in their hearts, that they hadn’t known possible, in a long time.

As she lavished in the embrace, enveloped in Steve’s heat, and his humungous arms, she replayed his confession in her head and she knew this would be the start of something, different, for both of them.

So have I...


End file.
